18

Do you remember when we first met?
A brief encounter, barely an exchanged glance beforehand
I can remember the bite in the air, that familiar stench
I wasn't looking my best, but then, neither were you,
Hung up on nicotine cravings and sleepless nights

I don't know what possessed me, pride or fear?
My heart sank like my feet
I'm sorry.

Decades passed and I still can't rinse away the shame
It stays locked in the drawer,
The one with the strong whisky and dusty sepia photgraphs.
My mind plays it over and over, like an old reel of film
flickering behind my eyes.

I will not hesitate, as we sit back to back so my eyes do not
meet with your stony expression.
I am about to meet a fate less heroic than yours
I am deteriorating fast,
Each breath is becoming more laboured
Years on the pipe to ease my nerves

I want to sit a while, absorb the view
Perhaps my last chance before I am clamouring on Hell's door.
Do you remember when we first met?
Because I remember it like yesterday

© 2009 Florence Challender